How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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Corn Muffins

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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