I'm going to rewrite history. History.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Drew Knowles is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Katy Perry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops