A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops