Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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