How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Donald Trump

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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