Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hi, my name is Jake.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops