how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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