What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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where's mom I killed her

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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