Your face is hilarious.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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