roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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