Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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