What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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