What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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