Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops