What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops