What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Once upon a time

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops