What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Of course, first door on your left

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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