Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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