There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops