Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Maths.

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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