A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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