What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops