What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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