Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Title IX

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

what is worse than a guy pissed?

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

Jamie Oliver eats a chip

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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