Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

Half life 3 confirmed

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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