Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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The queen having a shit

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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