Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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