A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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