Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Go away still nothing to see

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops