Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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this website is a bad joke

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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