How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Julian Ha.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops