What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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