When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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