A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

thumb_up thumb_down -12

can you pass the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops