Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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