how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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