What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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