- Anti Joke

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" dies

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

A Chinese man fails a math test

Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" dies

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

A Chinese man fails a math test

Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

A Chinese man fails a math test

Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" dies