Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops