- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up