Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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