Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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