Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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a man was shot.... he died

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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