swag

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops