Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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alert('The Game')

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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