Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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