What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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