Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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No soup for you!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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