(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Flowers are colors Love me

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

Who's the fastest kid in AA

These jokes don't have punchlines.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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