Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

the sky is green no it is not

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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