What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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