Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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