How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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